The 6 Weirdest, Scariest Processed Foods

December 7, 2009 by  
Filed under Patrick's Blog

Okay, I have to admit that, at one time or another, over the years, I’ve managed to consume all but one of the things on this list, the exception being avocado-free guacamole. (That reminds of the once-popular I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter “breakfast spread product.”) Luckily, it’s been ages since any of these items passed my lips. In this, I’m probably like most contemporary Americans, because most of us have eating this stuff for years, at least until we read the labels and figure out what kind of weird stuff is in them and then stop eating them.


I shudder to image what foods we routinely eat today will end up on some “scariest foods” list 10 years down the road.


Once upon a time, some brave scientists had a noble dream of ridding our food of the plague of nutrients.

Today, at the start of the 21st century, the miracle of food processing has brought that dream closer to reality than ever before. From vitamin-free “blueberry bits” to spray-can cheese to avocado-free guacamole, food scientists have worked tirelessly to bring us new and exciting foods that contain as little nutrition as possible. Even apparently “healthy” foods such as soups have been ingeniously overloaded with so much salt you feel as if you’re eating French fries.

In this article, we’ll provide a handy guide to six uniquely unnatural processed foods that will hopefully serve as a blueprint for humanity’s eventual triumph over the tyrannical fist of Mother Nature. . . . (continue reading)


What do you think of this post?
  • interesting (0)
  • cool (0)
  • funny (0)
  • wow (0)
  • pshaw! (0)

Enter the Conversation...

One Response to “The 6 Weirdest, Scariest Processed Foods”
  1. pennyyak says:

    Even looking in my pantry right now may be hazardous to my health. I was feeling much healthier just minutes ago…

    I do actually read labels these days, but I still buy some share of "pretend" food. Interesting link.

Share Your Thoughts...

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar for free here!
Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately...