On Married Couples Who Refuse to Have Children
November 20, 2008 by Patrick Madrid
Filed under Patrick's Blog
I feel very sorry for men and women who refuse to be open life, which is a refusal to be open to God’s will for their marriage. His will for them may well include the blessings of children. When these childless-by-choice Christians die and face Christ their Judge (just as we all one day will face Him), their matching Harley-Davidson bikes and gourmet kitchens won’t pray for them or play any positive role in their judgment.
The following article is worth reading and forwarding to your friends, Catholic and Protestant. And for a good antidote to the contraceptive “childless by choice” insanity so rampant among many married couples, check out Dr. Janet Smith’s “Contraception: Why Not?” presentation, available for cheap at One More Soul.
Touchstone Magazine ran an eye-opening piece about this issue awhile back:
Joe and Deb Schum aren’t worried about baby-proofing their house or buying a car seat. They don’t intend ever to have children. As a matter of fact, they are proud of their childlessness. According to a report in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, “The Schums are part of a growing number of couples across the country for whom kids don’t factor in the marriage equation.”
The nation’s birthrate fell in 2002 to a historic low of 66.9 births per 1,000 women age 15 to 44. That represents a decline of 43 percent since just 1960. “Many childless couples,” according to the report, “revel in their decision, despite badgering from baffled mothers and friends. Others struggle with the choice before keeping the house kid-free.”
An Epidemic
The Schums just don’t want kids to get in the way of their lifestyle. They enjoy cruising to the Georgia mountains on their matching Harley-Davidson motorcycles. They love their gourmet kitchen, outfitted with the very latest stainless steel appliances and fashionable countertops. Deb Schum explains, “If we had kids, we would need a table where the kids could do homework.”
This pattern of childlessness has caught the media’s attention. The left-wing Internet site Salon.com actually published a series of articles entitled, “To Breed or Not to Breed,” featuring couples and individuals who have decided that children are not a part of their chosen lifestyle.
One woman wrote that motherhood just doesn’t fit her self-image or her schedule. “I compete in triathlons; my husband practices martial arts; we both have fulfilling careers; we travel the world . . . we enjoy family and friends; we have a fun, intimate relationship.” Another woman asked: “What would the return be on the investment? Are there any laws that would require my children to pay for my nursing home when I am old? Are they going to be a sufficient hedge against poverty and loneliness?”
Some who have chosen to be childless have actually formed organizations in order to band together. The group “No Kidding” was formed in Atlanta four years ago as a social outlet for couples choosing to have no children. . . . (article)
People, go wring your hands over a problem that is actually a problem. Children are not a blessing to those who do not want them and for the record, the Childfree Meme is less in danger of rendering itself extinct than most mainstream religions. So please spare me the pity party. You don't have to live my life nor have you ever walked in my shoes. I find the attitude here to be arrogant and presumptuous. My reasons for not wanting children? I simply do not want them. My wife and I barely scrape by as it is and if I hear one more self righteous blowhard comment on how I just want to live a life of carefree overindulgence I'm going to grab a baseball bat. We don't want your sympathy, we don't feel your religious compulsion to procreate and most of all WE ARE NOT MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING! Got it? Quit projecting your Life Script on anyone who doesn't share the same obsession with children and you'll find a lot more people to engage in conversation with.
It is selfish to have a child. Give me an unselfish reason? 1) To pass on one's genes- selfish, 2) To carry down one's last name-selfish, 3) To love something and have it love me back in return-selfish, what other reasons are there? Oh and the Biblical implications are outdated hence due to the overpopulation of this world. God spoke those words when he had recently created the world. The only command that heterosexuals have listened has been "go forth and procreate". I feel sorry for people that feel they have to have children. They are the one's that are contributing to the decline of "family values" and civilization. Responsible people are choosing not to have children for many reasons, why does that matter to you? We are the ones paying taxes for your children to have an education and etc. Please spare me the rant! It's just a plore to try and raise other peoples children and win them over to your faith.
I'm in complete agreement with Santayana here. I've actually come around to thinking that Michael Jackson, as nutty as he was, was one of the few people who spoke out about the tragedy of the decline of the child-centered world.
Folks on the left constantly speak of sustainability, but fail to realize that sustaining our physical world is trivial in comparison to the sustainability of our culture.
As a son of pre-boomers, I'm trying to instill in my children the values of my childhood. I think my Generation X breatheren and I will slowly shift the pendulum back…
I think that it is sad how there are so many children without loving parents. Isn't it much better for a couple not to have children when they absolutely have no desire. I am a gay woman and I feel so fortunate to not have chosen to have children. Women are the ones who suffer during a pregnancy. They loose their good bodies, get stretch marks, and so many other defects. I also believe that women who choose to have children do not belong in the workforce. There are so many of them who are only there for a paycheck.
These people are the leading edge in a culture that is commiting suicide. The vigor and health of a society is built by the cumulative sacrifices of each generation, ussually motivated by faith in God and hope in the afterlife. When faith is gone, people living for their own pleasure, extinguish the culture. It is a free will choice and on a personal basis, a tragedy. C.A. Santayana
I am proud, because I am a childless 23 year old and love it!!!!! I hope I never have kids!!!
Wow. That’s all I can say in reaction to their selfishness.
If there’s anything positive about this “trend”, it’s that we can thankful they won’t be raising kids equally or more selfish than themselves.
Wow! Can they hear how selfish they sound? ‘What’s in it for me, me, me?’ Creepy.
I’m filled with sadness at the joy these men and women will never know.