Details About My Brief Time Behind Bars Last Week
October 10, 2009 by Patrick Madrid
Filed under Patrick's Blog
I Miss Caroline
October 8, 2009 by Patrick Madrid
Filed under Patrick's Blog
Caroline Schermerhorn, a longtime writer for Envoy Magazine, died of cancer on September 11, 2009. A young wife and mother of six, she was always happy and laughing and cheerfully at the center of so many circles of family, friends, and parish life.
It Doesn’t Get Any Better Than This!
By Caroline Schermerhorn
As I write this column, I am tucked away in an elegant two-room suite at a northern Michigan golf resort. It is a cloudy, but temperate, 50 degrees outside. Between the lovely gas fireplace in our suite, and an inviting hot tub in the bathroom, some romance and relaxation are a sure bet this weekend.Having never swung a golf club, I don’t have the usual kind of appreciation for the legendary Weiskopf“Legend” course outside the sliding glass doors. However, there is something exceptionally beautiful about having breakfast while overlooking the eighteenth hole.
We got here last night after a pleasant eight-hour drive, just my husband and I. No Barney tapes, no extra potty stops. I didn’t even have to share my drink. We grooved to classic rock, drove for hours without stopping, and guzzled one $2.00 iced cappuccino after another. The car was uncommonly clean, the back seat empty except for our suitcases and a hanging bag with an elegant party dress, suit, and tie. We drank in our old camaraderie, telling jokes, sharing stories, or just holding hands and thinking to the familiar beat of the windshield wipers.
I was in seventh heaven.
“This is the life,” I thought.
When we arrived at the resort, we were seated to a candlelit dinner, tucked away in the dim corner of an elegant restaurant. A talented pianist tinkled the ivories of a shiny black grand piano.
“… and what will you have, young lady?” I looked into the decidedly young eyes of a well-dressed waiter. Young lady? I felt like royalty.
No dishes, no crises. I didn’t even have to get up from dinner to find the second ketchup bottle deep in the recesses of the refrigerator. Could anything be so luxurious? “This is the life,” I breathed, sipping a before-dinner drink from a fine crystal glass.
This morning, my husband has a couple of meetings to attend, so I’m alone until lunch time. Completely, gloriously, and unapologetically alone. I sink into the sofa, pour myself a soda, choose an old black and white movie, and settle in for an after breakfast cat nap. With no other person “home” at the moment, I have no needs to look after – except my own. A bubble bath? A quiet bike ride?
This is the life!
We stay up late and sleep in later all weekend long.
By Sunday, I feel just about as relaxed as I’ve ever been. The smell of morning inspires me to sketch and write as I relax.
Our ride home is equally delightful. We thoroughly enjoy that easy-going, conversational, uninterrupted mode of sharing that we had when we first met.
Once home, it’s time to pick up the children from the various friends who took them in for the weekend. One stop at a time, the six children and their luggage crowd the van, which has been so empty since Friday.
Happy to see each other, hugs and kisses go all around. Almost instantly, the calendar is out, and we are trying to figure out the following day’s schedule. Little League practice was moved up a day, and play rehearsal occurs in the same inning. Dinner needs to be made, bath times scheduled, and laundry cleaned.
Our solitude is a memory of yesterday. The time alone, focused on the eyes of my beloved, is just another twinkle to reminisce over.
Later, in the twilight of the evening, I smell the clean blond curls of my youngest. I savor the sounds of laughing and screaming from the trampoline. I immerse myself in the thoughts voiced by my lovely teenage daughters.
Bedtime hastens. One at a time, I feel the sweet closeness of six goodnight hugs. The eldest disappears up the stairs. The day is over, and I’m ready for bed, too.
But wait, there is one more to attend to… the six-year-old has slipped back downstairs for “one more hug.” His breath is warm on my ear as he whispers, “Mommy, Imissedyou.” >
Thisis the life.
Move over, Beethoven. Classical music accordion style . . .
October 6, 2009 by Patrick Madrid
Filed under Patrick's Blog
I mean, really, who needs a 50-piece orchestra when you’ve got this kid and his accordion? I wouldn’t be surprised if the young fellow had downed a few double espressos shortly before this virtuoso performance.
Catholic Haiku
October 5, 2009 by Patrick Madrid
Filed under Patrick's Blog
I thought I’d pluck this baby out of our Envoy Magazine back-issue archives. These Haikus were composed by some Envoy Insiders several years ago.
Hmm, maybe I should kick off a new haiku contest. What do you think? Anyway, here they are (and remember, you can only blame me for the first few) . . .
PATRICK MADRID
Parochial Memories
With surprising strength,
Sister’s ruler smashed down hard
on my fifth grade hands
New Tricks for Old Dogmas
Anathema, sit!
I told my little, brown pooch.
He did. Good doggie
The Zen of Parenthood
Irony mocks me
when I shout at my children
to say, “stop shouting!”
Besmirched
How was I to know
not to wear my good suit in
the aviary?
Comedy Is Not Pretty
“You call this humor?”
they shrilled in disappointment.
My Envoy haiku list stank
JIM MOORE
Travails of an Elder
When I genuflect
my knees make a funny noise
they did not used to
Pluriformity
Sometimes, I wonder
how there can be two ways to
pronounce “trespasses”
Red, Red, Wine
I believe deeply
that Jesus, when at Cana,
did not make white zin
DAVE HESS
Strength in Christ
Seeing my resolve,
Satan hastened his retreat
toward the exit
What Kids Should Know
Peter holds the keys
yes, the Bible tells us so,
as do patristics
Where Were You When I Created Haiku?
Job had much patience
a gift that is hard to find;
it helps with Haiku
Balaam Should Have Known
While reading Elijah
I considered Brother Ass
to be of interest
Ring, Ring
When God calls on you,
consider it a blessing;
He calls those He loves
CAROLINE SCHERMERHORN (R.I.P.)
Duty Calls
I’m very sorry
I am a mother of six
I can’t write Haiku
Working for the Man
No time for Haiku.
I still have deadlines to meet
I’ll never sleep
PAUL THIGPEN
Sister Cool
Ubiquitous pantsuit
Earrings, chic coif, and makeup;
new habits die hard.
Want Ad in Milwaukee
Unemployed church renovators
looking for work
we don’t do (stained-glass) windows
Catholic ABCs
CCD, DRE
KoC, NCCB
O I M D Z
Liturgical Regurgitation
Stuffed with stale musical Twinkies,
one more ride “On Eagles’ Wings”
will make me puke
Happy Monday. Don't forget to start your week with prayer!
October 5, 2009 by Patrick Madrid
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At times like this, we need Hollywood celebrities to tell us what to do and how to think
October 3, 2009 by Patrick Madrid
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Sole Video Footage of Anne Frank Posted Online
October 2, 2009 by Patrick Madrid
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The video, uploaded by the Anne Frank House of Amsterdam on Wednesday, depicts the front of an apartment building where Frank’s family lived on July 22, 1941, roughly a year before her family went into hiding in a secret apartment.
Frank is seen on video leaning out of the second-floor window of her Amsterdam home to get a glimpse of her neighbor, who is getting married. . . . (continue)
You Can Run But You Can't Hide From McDonalds
October 2, 2009 by Patrick Madrid
Filed under Patrick's Blog
This summer, cruising down the I-5 through California’s Central Valley to the Los Angeles Basin, I unwittingly stumbled upon a most exasperating development: the country strip mall. First, let me state that I don’t hate. I’ve got nothing against Petco, Starbucks, OfficeMax, et al. When overcome by the desire for a cubic yard of kitty litter, a carafe of pre-Columbian frappasmoochino, or fifty gross of pink highlighter pens, I’m there in a jiffy!
But, Mr. Real Estate Tycoon, did you have to plop your shopping center smack dab in the middle of what was previously nowhere? Okay, the land was cheap. And yes, you did traffic studies and proved that the interstate and distant suburbs would drench whatever you built in a raging torrent of eager consumerism. But your retail monstrosity drains the wildness from the countryside for twenty miles in every direction! Sure, you can’t see it from everywhere – but once you know it’s there, you feel it. In the rural drawl of a neighboring rancher, that flat-out sucks!
Which begs the question: just how far away can you get from our world of generic convenience? And how would you figure that out?
As I hurtled down the highway, a pair of golden arches crept over the horizon, and the proverbial lightbulb smacked me in the forehead. To gauge the creep of cookie-cutter commercialism, there’s no better barometer than McDonald’s – ubiquitous fast food chain and inaugural megacorporate colonizer of small towns nationwide.
So, I set o
ut to determine the farthest point from a Micky Dee’s – in the lower 48 states, at least. This endeavor required information, and the nice folks at AggData were kind enough to provide it to me: a complete list of all 13,000-or-so U.S. restaurants, in CSV format, geolocated for maximum convenience. From there, a bit of software engineering gymnastics, and…Behold, a visualization of the contiguous United States, colored by distance to the nearest domestic McDonald’s! . . . (continue reading)
Elizabeth Smart Recounts the Grim Details of Her 2002 Abduction
October 1, 2009 by Patrick Madrid
Filed under Patrick's Blog
Like everyone else (other than the two psychos who kidnapped and brutalized this innocent child), I was elated to hear the news, several years back, that Elizabeth Smart had been rescued from the nightmarish captivity imposed on her. Few people imagined that her situation would have a happy ending — at least as happy as an ending can be in a case like this. I thank God for her deliverance. Now, at 21, she is speaking publicly about what happened.
Elizabeth Smart said Thursday that the man accused of snatching her from her Utah bedroom seven years ago, when she was a 14-year-old girl, raped her repeatedly — three or four times a day — during the nine months he held her captive as one of his wives.
Smart, now 21, was testifying for the first time against suspect Brian David Mitchell, though the two never came face-to-face in U.S. District Court in Salt Lake City. Mitchell was removed before Smart arrived and taken to a holding cell where he could listen to the proceedings.
Smart said Mitchell, 55, raped her for the first time right after her June 2002 abduction — which occurred in the dead of night in her Salt Lake City home.
She told the court that the rapes continued three to four times a day for nine months, and that Mitchell told her she would be killed if she yelled or tried to escape.
She described Mitchell as “evil, wicked, manipulative, stinky, slimy, selfish, not spiritual, not religious, not close to God.”
It marked the first time Smart has testified against Mitchell, who is accused of abducting Smart and making her his “wife” to fulfill a religious prophecy.
The court is currently conducting a competency hearing for Mitchell, who has twice before been deemed mentally unfit for trial. A judge ruled earlier this week that Smart’s testimony is relevant to determining Mitchell’s mental competency.
Smart was poised and composed while testifying for just under two hours.
She said Mitchell abducted her in her bedroom at knifepoint in the middle of the night, took her to a mountain camp and performed a ceremony she said was intended to “marry” the two. . . . (continue)
How an earthquake might create a tsunami off California coast
October 1, 2009 by Patrick Madrid
Filed under Patrick's Blog
(source)
