Pat’s Top Ten Orthodox Catholic Pick-Up Lines

February 25, 2009 by  
Filed under Patrick's Blog

Okay, all you single Catholics who are searching for just the right thing to say to make a good first impression on that cute single Catholic you have your eyes on (chastely, of course), here’s my classic top ten list of time-tested, sure-fire, often-imitated-but-never-improved-upon Orthodox Catholic Pick-Up Lines (please use them responsibly, and always give proper attribution!) . . .

Patrick Madrid’s Orthodox Catholic Pick-Up Lines —

10. May I offer you a light for that votive candle?

9. Hi there. My buddy and I were wondering if you would settle a dispute we’re having. Do you think the word should be pronounced HOMEschooling, or homeSCHOOLing?

8. Sorry, but I couldn’t help but noticing how cute you look in that ankle-length, shapeless, plaid jumper.

7. What’s a nice girl like you doing at a First Saturday Rosary Cenacle like this?

6. You don’t like the culture of death either? Wow! We have so much in common!

5. Let’s get out of here. I know a much cozier little Catholic bookstore downtown.

4. I bet I can guess your confirmation name.

3. You’ve got stunning scapular-brown eyes.

2. Did you feel what I felt when we reached into the holy water font at the same time?

1. Confess here often?

NOTE: This is an oldie but goodie from way back in my early days publishing Envoy Magazine. I do a top-ten list (with the help of excellent input from some other very funny Catholic guys) in each issue, but this particular top ten list seems to have been the most popular. You can check out some of the other “Pat’s Top Ten” lists here
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