Pat’s Top Ten Least Popular Children’s Bedtime Stories

February 25, 2009 by  
Filed under Patrick's Blog

You parents will understand. So will your kids ;)


Patrick Madrid’s Top Ten Least Popular Children’s Bedtime Stories —


10. Run, Kids, Run! Keith and Becky Discover Uncle Pete’s Hornet Farm

9. And Who Will Help Me Fry The Chicken? – The Colonel teaches Henny Penny A Lesson About Whining

8. A Child’s Illustrated Treasury of Rodeo Accidents

7. Nippy the Infectious Chihuahua

6. A Critique of Kantian Metaphysics and Ontological Presuppositions-for Kids!

5. The Day Barney Caught on Fire

4. The Adventures of Milo, the Obnoxious Intestinal Parasite

3. Babaar the Elephant Gets Gunned Down on Safari

2. The Big Red Fire Engine Meets the Little Engine That Could In a Fiery Head-on Collision

1. Otis the Hungry Rottweiler Meets Shaun, the Magically Delicious Leprechaun 


(Source: Envoy Magazine)

Pat's Top Ten Least Popular Children's Bedtime Stories

February 25, 2009 by  
Filed under Patrick's Blog

You parents will understand. So will your kids ;)


Patrick Madrid’s Top Ten Least Popular Children’s Bedtime Stories —


10. Run, Kids, Run! Keith and Becky Discover Uncle Pete’s Hornet Farm

9. And Who Will Help Me Fry The Chicken? – The Colonel teaches Henny Penny A Lesson About Whining

8. A Child’s Illustrated Treasury of Rodeo Accidents

7. Nippy the Infectious Chihuahua

6. A Critique of Kantian Metaphysics and Ontological Presuppositions-for Kids!

5. The Day Barney Caught on Fire

4. The Adventures of Milo, the Obnoxious Intestinal Parasite

3. Babaar the Elephant Gets Gunned Down on Safari

2. The Big Red Fire Engine Meets the Little Engine That Could In a Fiery Head-on Collision

1. Otis the Hungry Rottweiler Meets Shaun, the Magically Delicious Leprechaun 


(Source: Envoy Magazine)

Pat’s Top Ten Orthodox Catholic Pick-Up Lines

February 25, 2009 by  
Filed under Patrick's Blog

Okay, all you single Catholics who are searching for just the right thing to say to make a good first impression on that cute single Catholic you have your eyes on (chastely, of course), here’s my classic top ten list of time-tested, sure-fire, often-imitated-but-never-improved-upon Orthodox Catholic Pick-Up Lines (please use them responsibly, and always give proper attribution!) . . .

Patrick Madrid’s Orthodox Catholic Pick-Up Lines —

10. May I offer you a light for that votive candle?

9. Hi there. My buddy and I were wondering if you would settle a dispute we’re having. Do you think the word should be pronounced HOMEschooling, or homeSCHOOLing?

8. Sorry, but I couldn’t help but noticing how cute you look in that ankle-length, shapeless, plaid jumper.

7. What’s a nice girl like you doing at a First Saturday Rosary Cenacle like this?

6. You don’t like the culture of death either? Wow! We have so much in common!

5. Let’s get out of here. I know a much cozier little Catholic bookstore downtown.

4. I bet I can guess your confirmation name.

3. You’ve got stunning scapular-brown eyes.

2. Did you feel what I felt when we reached into the holy water font at the same time?

1. Confess here often?

NOTE: This is an oldie but goodie from way back in my early days publishing Envoy Magazine. I do a top-ten list (with the help of excellent input from some other very funny Catholic guys) in each issue, but this particular top ten list seems to have been the most popular. You can check out some of the other “Pat’s Top Ten” lists here

Pat's Top Ten Orthodox Catholic Pick-Up Lines

February 25, 2009 by  
Filed under Patrick's Blog

Okay, all you single Catholics who are searching for just the right thing to say to make a good first impression on that cute single Catholic you have your eyes on (chastely, of course), here’s my classic top ten list of time-tested, sure-fire, often-imitated-but-never-improved-upon Orthodox Catholic Pick-Up Lines (please use them responsibly, and always give proper attribution!) . . .

Patrick Madrid’s Orthodox Catholic Pick-Up Lines —

10. May I offer you a light for that votive candle?

9. Hi there. My buddy and I were wondering if you would settle a dispute we’re having. Do you think the word should be pronounced HOMEschooling, or homeSCHOOLing?

8. Sorry, but I couldn’t help but noticing how cute you look in that ankle-length, shapeless, plaid jumper.

7. What’s a nice girl like you doing at a First Saturday Rosary Cenacle like this?

6. You don’t like the culture of death either? Wow! We have so much in common!

5. Let’s get out of here. I know a much cozier little Catholic bookstore downtown.

4. I bet I can guess your confirmation name.

3. You’ve got stunning scapular-brown eyes.

2. Did you feel what I felt when we reached into the holy water font at the same time?

1. Confess here often?

NOTE: This is an oldie but goodie from way back in my early days publishing Envoy Magazine. I do a top-ten list (with the help of excellent input from some other very funny Catholic guys) in each issue, but this particular top ten list seems to have been the most popular. You can check out some of the other “Pat’s Top Ten” l
ists
here

Care to Caption This?

February 24, 2009 by  
Filed under Patrick's Blog

I’ll start things off:

“This is kind of how it feels when you study (i.e., drink deeply from) the works of St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas.”

Fr. Roderick on the Newly Twittering U.S. Bishops

February 24, 2009 by  
Filed under Patrick's Blog


Father Roderick — a Twitter magnate in his own right — reports on how the U.S. Catholic Bishops Conference has hooked up with a new and rapidly growing online Catholic community at Twitter. Don’t know what Twitter is? Don’t worry, you soon will. Though if you’ve been reading this blog for the past couple of months that it’s been in existence, you already know.

More and more individual Catholics and catholic organizations are discovering Twitter as a new medium to communicate with a world wide audience.

You can now even follow the U.S.  bishops via Twitter. USCCB Media Relations represent the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops to the media and the media to the bishops.

On twitter.com/usccbmedia, you can read important news updates straight from the bishops, like today’s nomination of Milwaukee Archbishop Timothy Dolan as the new archbishop of New York, the most prominent post in U.S. Church. (article)

Oh, and when you get started Twittering, if you haven’t already, do look me up. My T-handle is patrickmadrid

Fr. Roderick on the Newly Twittering U.S. Bishops

February 24, 2009 by  
Filed under Patrick's Blog


Father Roderick — a Twitter magnate in his own right — reports on how the U.S. Catholic Bishops Conference has hooked up with a new and rapidly growing online Catholic community at Twitter. Don’t know what Twitter is? Don’t worry, you soon will. Though if you’ve been reading this blog for the past couple of months that it’s been in existence, you already know.

More and more individual Catholics and catholic organizations are discovering Twitter as a new medium to communicate with a world wide audience.

You can now even follow the U.S.  bishops via Twitter. USCCB Media Relations represent the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops to the media and the media to the bishops.

On twitter.com/usccbmedia, you can read important news updates straight from the bishops, like today’s nomination of Milwaukee Archbishop Timothy Dolan as the new archbishop of New York, the most prominent post in U.S. Church. (article)

Oh, and when you get started Twittering, if you haven’t already, do look me up. My T-handle is patrickmadrid

Some Pics from Timothy & Nina’s Wedding

February 23, 2009 by  
Filed under Patrick's Blog

The radiantly beautiful and happy couple, (my son) Timothy and Nina (née Pezzutti) Madrid, were joined in the sacrament of holy matrimony on February 14 at St. Patrick’s Catholic Church, Columbus, Ohio.

Festivities ensued.

They spent a week in Italy — Rome and Naples — for their honeymoon.


Some Pics from Timothy & Nina's Wedding

February 23, 2009 by  
Filed under Patrick's Blog

The radiantly beautiful and happy couple, (my son) Timothy and Nina (née Pezzutti) Madrid, were joined in the sacrament of holy matrimony on February 14 at St. Patrick’s Catholic Church, Columbus, Ohio.

Festivities ensued.

They spent a week in Italy — Rome and Naples — for their honeymoon.


This 1981 Movie Eerily Describes What’s Happening Today

February 23, 2009 by  
Filed under Things I find interesting

Hey, everyone! Here’s a great way to start your week! (/sarcasm).
Seriously, though, take a look at this montage of scenes from the 1981 movie “Rollover,” which depicts a catastrophic global economic implosion. It could have been made today, in 2009, for its grim scenario is unsettlingly similar to some things we’re seeing today.


Also, check out this interview on the economy and dangers we face, especially the last two minutes of the interview. Some very grim predictions here:

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